We’ve all had the little voice in our head filling us with self doubt, telling us to be “realistic,” drawing limits, and telling us we are not good enough. This voice is how we believe the world expects us to be, attracting outside influences that we let take control of our emotions, making us believe they are in our own best interest.
As a girl who has been through her teens, I can tell you that this voice becomes the loudest one in the room. Before I understood what it was, I was witnessing its effects and wanting so fiercely to change its course. It makes us questions ourselves and our value. Life becomes about comparing qualities and picking apart ‘flaws’ we see within ourselves. I have watched friends, loved ones, and recognized within myself complete heartbreak over not feeling ‘enough.’
These moments of an ego takeover can be as small as questioning whether to post a picture or not just because you’re not sure it’s going to get enough ‘likes,’ to being closed off to new experiences because the ego is telling us to be scared.
Within the last year I have recognized small moments where I was pushing the ego out of my self-consciousness and other moments that it was completely taking over. I truly feel like sometimes it has been a tug-of-war with myself, between feeling personal alignment and working overtime to feed the ego. It’s exhausting.
But you know what? You don’t have to do it.
Once I recognized the actual existence of this inner-narrator that was draining me emotionally, physically, and even affected how I held relationships – I began a mission to start letting it go.
Focusing on self- care:
This has been my BIGGEST mission the last few months. Self-care for me has been as simple as keeping fresh flowers in my room to each night making tea, lighting a candle and just being with myself for a couple of hours. In the mornings I’ve started to listen to some of my favorite podcasts on my commute into work, allowing myself start the day in a mentally good space. Remembering to listen to my body and stay healthy. Learning that it was okay to sometimes put myself before others, and that it’s okay to say no. You know the things in life that make you feel truly content, do those things.
This has been my challenge. Experiencing a lot of emotional pain in the last couple of years, I had been struggling to know how to forgive and release. It took me a long time to understand how holding onto pain and anger towards someone or an event can seep its way into areas of our life we had no intention of it reaching. My ego had built walls and I was unknowingly fighting away any opportunity for more pain to present itself. It took someone really special to help me recognize this within myself and slowly learning to deconstruct it has brought so much value back into my life and for that I will be forever thankful. 🙂
Reminding yourself, Why Not?
One day a colleague/wonderful friend of mine and I were talking about the things that limit us and keep us from doing things we really want to start working towards. At the end of our discussion she took a sticky note and wrote “Why not?” and stuck it next to her desk. Every time one of us makes excuses or starts a conversation with “I wish I could..” or “I want…” she points to the sticky note and reminds us – Why not?
Recognizing those around us:
Sharing appreciation for the people around you that empower you to be a better person and inspire you to be your best self is one of the easiest and most impactful things I think we can do. Life happens fast and we can get too caught up in other things to tell people we appreciate them for all that they do for us. Take a moment to reflect on who brings value into your life and reach out to them. On the flip side, taking people out of your life that don’t add this value. Sometimes the ego makes us believe we have to keep relationships for various reasons, but in the end they are doing more harm than good. It’s okay to step away, to think about yourself and move on.
Being more in tune with your intentions:
If you can’t tell from the mission of this blog…I cannot tell you how wrapped up I am in the idea of intentional living. Everything talked about so far contributes to this idea of living the way you want/are meant to live as best as you know how. Creating habits, routines, and relationships that harmonize with your intentions to live happier and more true to yourself requires sitting down to actually understand where exactly these intentions lie. As hippie-dippie and soul-seeking as that may sound, remember that life is short. If we aren’t taking a moment to think about how we want to prioritize happiness and carry out our lives in this moment, when will we ever?
Trust your #personalbest 🙂